I hate this blog.

Well....HI. I am terrible at updating this, I KNOW.  I've never been good at being able to sum things up quickly, or "writing for an audience" so to say.

Anyway...its now almost August, which means I've been here for almost four months. I still have moments where I can't quite believe I'm here. It is a HUGE thing for me to be here...I've dreamt of this since I was a child...and here I am. Life here is beautiful, intense, and difficult. Life here is in your face, every aspect of it. I don't believe that the amount of time I'm here will matter too much--I'm not sure if anyone could ever know and understand every aspect of this place, and that is just one of the many beauties it holds. The more I think I understand, something else just comes around and makes me realize I know nothing.

I've been all over the place (physically...I suppose you could say mentally too) for the past two months. I am no longer with the family I originally was with. I've spent time in Jakmel, a beautiful city on the beach filled with art, music, and beautiful things (often referred to as Haiti's cultural capital). After that I spent a couple weeks with an absolutely wonderful family up in the mountains of the Jakmel area. Now I'm waiting to move in with my new family which will still be in the same general area as the first family, but a different community all together. These past few months have not been easy, but it is all slowly starting to work out.

I avoid updating this because it is so, so very difficult. No one can truly understand unless they are here with me, and, well...no one is. I would love nothing more than for you all to be able to see, feel, taste, hear, and smell all that I see, feel, taste, hear, and smell every day, but thats not the way things work. Some day I will figure out the purpose of this all, and how I can successfully share this experience with the world, because one thing I know is that it needs to be shared...I just don't know how yet.

I know with all of my heart, soul, and mind that this is where I'm supposed to be. I don't know yet what I'm supposed to be doing, but I don't think I need to know yet. It's almost painful for me at times to think about my life back in the states, and all that I have left there. I know it, and you will all still be there, but it really does feel heavy when I think about it all. How can I have SO many people back in the states that I love with every ounce of my being, but KNOW that its not where I'm supposed to be right now, and for quite some time? If only I could figure out how to be two places at once...Despite all of the difficulties here, I don't think I've ever felt happier, or more CONTENT.

I apologize that this update doesn't include some funny story, or something about the "desperation" of the country. The truth is, I'm not sure what to say in here, or how to do it. I'm trying to be as real as possible, and thats about all I can do. Read it if you like, or don't...I'll never know.

I think of you all every day and carry you all with me each day, and everywhere I go.

WA-HOO!

Hello to you all from Haiti! Sorry I have been so negligent in updating this. To use the internet I have to take a motorcycle to Dabon, which is about a 15 minute ride, or walk..which takes a while. Anyway, this is only my second time using the internet here.

I've been here for just over a month, and things are going really well. The first week I was with my family in LaKolin was really tough. I've never really felt so homesick before...but I got through it and I'm really glad to be here. My family is wonderful. I live with Gladys (my mom), Ingrid (my sister...25), Pirite (Gladys's mother), Keshwin (Gladys's niece, 15), Yvendel (Keshwin's brother, 18), and Gladys's son, James, is visiting from the DR (he has been working there) for a bit. I dont think I have ever laughed as much as I have in the past month with these beautiful people. Somehow, the humor is found in EVERYTHING...literally, everything.

The community I'm living in is great. There are a ton of children, and a ton of really amazing, strong women. I have already learned so much from them. I have played approximately one million card games with the kids, pumped water with them, danced, sang, you name it.

So much has happened, its hard for me to know where to start! I guess I'll start with my being the constant source of entertainment for everyone. Everything I do seems to be hilarious, whether its simply brushing my teeth, or fumbling around trying to figure out how to make food. It has been a very humbling experience, thats for sure. I always thought I was good at laughing at myself, but I can say that I have now mastered it. You have to...or else you would cry. :)

There is so much to learn here, it can be a bit overwhelming, but one thing I find to be incredibly important is how everyone here takes each day as it comes, constantly living in the present. One of the most common phrases I hear is "demen, si dye vle" which means tomorrow, god willing. Everyone follows just about everything they say with "si Dye vle". Its pretty telling of the culture and the way life flows here.

Huh..well, sorry this update is so boring. Its not that I don't have hilarious stories to share...I don't have much time, and well, I don't really feel like it at the moment ;)
I think about you all every day, and I miss you all something fierce. Keep praying for me and Courtney, as we pray for all of you!

Until next time,

-Sarah

Grab your bag, and grab your coat...we are headed south.

Well, crazy things are happening in the world, thats for sure! I am continually surprised by many, many things every day. You would think I'd stop being "surprised" after a while...but I suppose its better than being bored to tears every day. Boredom is certainly one thing my life is not lacking.

So, needless to say, life here in DC continues to be interesting, and has been a good test of my faith in humanity (I say this all with a giant smile on my face, of course). Life at the Bosley-Smith house is great, as usual. Never a dull moment there. I really look forward to coming back to the house every day after a day at the office, being greeted by Sable and Oakley sliding toward me as I open the door, and just spending time at dinner with everyone. I'm really thankful that they offered to house me during this time, and be so hospitable about it!

I was able to travel back to Jersey/Philly to see family and spend my brother's birthday with them all, which was great. BUT...I must say, having to say good-bye to people multiple times really is not fun, it is quite stressful, actually. After about the 5th time, the good-byes started be be void of much emotion and went something like this "Alright, well, LOVE YA, see you in a year!" ...followed by me exiting the scene as soon as possible. I mean...I really DO love you all, but I've been saying bye since December, so...SEE YA!

...moving on

April 4 is reeeeally coming up quickly! It feels pretty crazy that this is actually happening. If this is some sick April Fools joke by Beyond Borders, well then you have got it coming my friends...I mean, I know you're all funny people, but that may be a bit much........I kid, I kid. I'll be on my merry way in less than two weeks.

I feel very ready to go--physically, mentally, spiritually. In talking & reflecting with a few wonderful and amazingly wise people the past few days I have realized that I don't need to have all of my "stuff" figured out before, or even in order to go to Haiti. In fact, what better and more conducive place to simply BE, learn, and commune with others than Haiti?? Thats what we're supposed to do as humans, right?! Well, maybe there's a bit more to that, but I trust that you get the point.

I guess I should actually update you on something rather than blab about my feeeeeelings...SO, we have officially found out where exactly we'll be living! I will be in a community called La Coleen (the hill) and Courtney will be in a community about an hour and a half walk away called Nan Mapou (a type of  sacred tree in Haiti). I will be living with three women--three different generations in a two-room temporary shelter, and I'll be sharing one of those rooms with the youngest woman who is right around my age. Both communities have very strong and involved women's groups, which really excites me. I'm really looking forward to connecting with them and learning more about what they do. La Coleen was hit very hard in the earthquake, and most of the buildings and houses there were destroyed. I'm sure what the community lacks in physical structures they make up in beauty, personality, life, and laughter. I am truly looking forward to transitioning into my new home. Both Courtney and I will have our own personal language helper and person to sort of "escort" us places (poor word choice? I don't care...its funny).

I bet none of you believe any of this seeing as how everything else I've written has changed...well, just keeping you all on your toes.   :)

Elections on Sunday seemed to have gone fairly smoothly, and have been said to have been much better and more efficient this time around. Please keep praying for stability and for wisdom, honesty, and transparency for the new President, whoever that may be.

Thats really all I've got for now...I pray that you are all well and that you are taking each day to love, laugh, breath, and find your own peace.

Until next time,
Sarah

Aaaand, we're off!

GOOD NEWS. Courtney and I have plane tickets! After a long, emotional conference call with Coleen, Carla, Courtney, Sarah Cool, and I, tickets were purchased and we'll head to Haiti on April 4th at 6 in the morning. It is pretty amazing how much a solid date has changed my outlook on everything. All we have to get through now are the elections on March 20th, and we'll be on our way. 

I suppose I'll update you on a few other things as well...

My creole is coming along! I'm feeling much more comfortable with it, and able to recognize sounds, words, meanings, etc. 

Last weekend Courtney, Pascalie, David, Brian, and I traveled to beautiful Norristown for the BB board meeting. We all ate a great Haitian dinner the night before at Jonathan's house, and then I was able (along with Courtney and Pascalie) to spend the night in my old apartment with my two wonderful roommates and other friends. All day Saturday was the board meeting, which went well. It was exciting to be there for the approval of Beyond Border's new strategic plan, vision, mission, etc. Not only are great things happening as we speak, but they are going to continue to happen...pretty exciting. While it was great to see all my friends in N-town, it was pretty hard to say goodbye...again, but I'm certainly doing much better this week. 

Yesterday on our conference call Carla advised us both to really cherish the time we have left here. A month seems like a long time right now, but I'm sure it will fly by and before I know it Courtney and I will be boarding the plane early in the morning. It's not easy to live totally in the moment, and be conscious solely of NOW, but I'm going to really try and soak up the time I have left in the states...it'll be a while before I'm back! 

Here's a note I posted on Facebook that I'd really appreciate you all taking a look at:

Women and girls living in Haiti's makeshift tent camps are facing more violence and abuse since January 2010's earthquake. It is estimated that over 72 percent of Haitian girls have been raped, and the numbers continue to grow with each passing day. These women need advocacy, liberation, protection, dignity, and their voices to be HEARD. The women who are speaking out about what is happening are either ignored, or blamed for the inhumane actions done to them.

The Haitian police are doing nothing for these women who have nothing standing between them and their attackers but a tent. This is not something that we can turn away from. This is happening RIGHT NOW. As human beings we are bound to and with one another; I have been experiencing a reoccuring theme lately that none of us are free until we all are free. 

Tuesday, March 8 is International Women's Day. Tuesday, the 8th is also prime-time for Haiti's Carnival season, where many women are raped and abused. I am asking that we all stand together in solidarity for the women and girls of Haiti in whatever way we can. I will be fasting, but please pray, meditate, write, promote awareness of the situation...do whatever you can do to stand with these beautiful women of Haiti. I ask you to please send this message out to anyone and everyone! This is something we cannot ignore. 

Battered and torn

still I can see the light

Tattered and worn

but I must kneel to fight

Friend of mine

what can't you spare

I know some times

it gets cold in there

When my legs no longer carry

and the warm wind chills my bones

I reach for Mother Mary

and I shall not walk alone

Hope is alive

while we're apart

only tears

speak from my heart

break the chains

that hold us down

and we shall be

forever bound

When I'm tired and weary

and a long way from home

I reach for Mother Mary

and I shall not walk alone

Beauty that

we left behind

how shall we

tomorrow find

Set aside

our weight in sin

so that we

can live again

-I Shall Not Walk Alone (Ben Harper)

Until next time,

-Sarah

Life in DC...

I've been in DC for exactly three weeks now, and all I have to say for it is that Philly is way cooler....just kidding! However...Philly is much easier to navigate, BUT in DC there are tons of things to do for free. I do have to stay loyal to Philly, though. I miss everyone a TON. I constantly think of everyone at Broad Street Ministry and wish I could be there with you all. Whenever I try to tell people here about BSM I never know what to say, I usually end up saying something like "there really is just no other place like it!" Which just sounds lame, and doesn't really say anything, so...I'll keep working on a promo speech. Anyway...

I'm staying with a wonderful family here. Dixcy, Nolan, Colby, and Colin, and of course their two dogs Oakley and Sable. It took about a week and a half for Sable who is still a puppy to accept me and not bark every time I moved...but we're in the bonding process now, so everything's good on that front. The family is pretty busy, but we always eat dinner together which is probably one of my favorite parts of the day. They're a lot of fun.

The weekends are the toughest for me, I'm alone most of the time, which I guess isn't necessarily a bad thing in theory, but for someone like me...too much alone time makes you go crazy. I usually go to a museum or two, and spend a lot of time in coffee shops, but Courtney arrived last week from CA, so now I have someone to hang out with. 

I go to the BB office every day and help out with various things. The days usually go by pretty quickly. Everyone in the office is great...its a lot of fun, and there is always an abundant amount of laughter. I've had the opportunity to meet a lot of really great people that are in some way connected to Haiti/Beyond Borders which has been awesome. I have been taking Creole classes every Thursday and Friday afternoon in the office...I'm really enjoying that!

To update you all on the ASL program situation...Well, we probably won't be getting to Haiti until April now. Coleen and Carla have made visits to the community where we will most likely be living (Dabon, not too far from Port au Prince), and talked with a group, Rasin Lespwa (Roots of Hope) who will aid in preparing the community and families for our arrival. They are still preparing and finding families for us to live with, and all this preparation has been prolonged due to cholera, elections, and the occasional return of a dictator or two, so you know...nothing major. The second round of elections is scheduled for March 20th, between Manigat and Martelly. Hopefully nothing too outrageous happens surrounding that...but one never can tell when it comes to Haiti. So, with all that said, I really hope Courtney and I are able to get to Haiti in early April. This really is a tough spot to be in. When all of my friends and family are in one place, and everything I want to be doing and have been waiting to do for months is in Haiti, but I am here in DC...things start to feel pretty strange.

Cholera seems to have stabilized a bit, but there is still the ever-present fear, which I'm sure will stick around for quite some time. There are not as many deaths being reported, which is obviously a good sign. I am continually amazed at how the people of Haiti continue to live their lives day to day amidst so much turmoil.

Well, I don't have much more to say at this point, rather, I don't feel like typing much more :-)
Please continue to hold Haiti and her people in your prayers.
More later,

Sarah

ch-ch-ch-changes

Thanks, Mr. Bowie for providing the oh-so-apropos title for my post.

Welp, after reading over my last update I've decided I should probably start proof-reading these things...especially because this is accessible to many via the Beyond Borders website. My apologies for the many typos, friends. Anyway, on to bigger and better things...

Things seem to be happening and moving along as far as the ASL program goes! I have moved out of my apartment in Norristown, PA into my parent's house in Chesterfield, NJ. Quite the change, I must say. After living on my own for the past three years, moving back in with my parents can prove to be pretty interesting. However, I'm certainly glad I have been able to do so, and will be able to spend my last two weeks here with my family. February first is my move-in day for D.C. and I'm pretty dang excited about it...I think. Of course I have mixed feelings and really just want to get my butt to Haiti, but I have come to peace with the fact that, well...its just not going to happen as fast as I would like! Courtney will arrive Feb. fifth to D.C. We will be working in the Beyond Borders offices there for most likely a month or two while Carla and Coleen work on preparing our host families and communities for our arrival to Haiti. The regular conference calls with Beyond Borders staff plus Courtney and I have really been helpful in feeling and staying connected. I'm hoping that there is less snow in D.C. than here in Jersey...I am certainly not a fan.

This past Sunday was my last Sunday (for now!) with my amazing family at Broad Street Ministry in Philadelphia (www.broadstreetministry.org). Luckily it was the choir's turn to sing, so I got to squeeze in one last Motley Order Choir performance. Over the past few years of my attending the church I found myself continually amazed at the fact that every Sunday I found myself to be uncomfortable, whether it be because of the two, large and intimidating homeless men I found myself sitting between during the service, the person sitting across from me having an in-depth conversation with someone who was not there, or because the sermon and service really hit home that I felt completely exposed and vulnerable...I could go on (but I won't). I would never, ever trade any of those uncomfortable moments for it was in these that I grew the most, and it proved that I would feel these deep, digging, moments up until my very last Sunday there. As I was singing my solo during communion, I looked up and immediately made eye contact with a man I had not seen in years. I met him my first year at Eastern in downtown Philadelphia. He was homeless. This man was someone who I truly looked up to and enjoyed spending time with, who walked around the city with me, because, in his words "a little white girl like you can NOT walk around talkin' to homeless guys by yourself...I got your back". Later that year because of a misunderstanding in our friendship, he became frustrated and angry, and I stopped seeing him every week...no one saw him anymore. As I looked up on Sunday while singing we both made eye contact, and with a slight nod, kind smile, and a small wave, I immediately knew who he was. It took everything out of me not to forget everything I was supposed to be singing and just start crying. I made it through, and immediately went over to talk to him. It was really great to see him, and while he is still homeless three years later, I know he is alive, and I know he is relatively healthy, and in a wonderful place at Broad Street. (sorry this is getting long...if you've held on this long, I congratulate you...but I'm gonna keep going) As I made my way back to Norristown I couldn't stop thinking about how crazy it was that on my last Sunday there, I saw someone who had such an impact on my life that I had not seen in years, and truly did not think I would ever see again. I refuse to think that it was simply just a coincidence, and something that I have learned from my friends in Haiti and the people there is that you need to pay attention to the seemingly minute details of life, and that there ARE signs there, God IS communicating with us. It is simply up to us to recognize and acknowledge it. I believe that this was God's way of reassuring me that this was not the last time I would see these people, and that there is a reason that I spent four years of my life going to downtown Philly spending time sitting on the cold, hard, concrete talking to homeless men and women who I thought I would never see again. Perhaps things really do come full circle, and perhaps these scary changes and transitions are here to tell us who we really are to really learn about and love each other the way we are supposed to. I think I'm beginning to be okay with these changing seasons of life...

Happy Holidays

Well it has been a bit since I have last updated, and things have changed quite a bit. The last time I updated I was slated to leave for Haiti on February 7th. Given the circumstances there with the continuing earthquake aftermath and reconstruction, the cholera situation, and now the effects of the presidential elections, Beyond Borders have decided to postpone Courtney and my arrival date. The plan now is for me to move to DC in mid-January to work in the Beyond Borders office, and to hopefully fly out to Haiti late February/early March.

I can't say that I'm not disappointed. I have never really considered myself an incredibly patient person ;) so this is certainly been challenging. I realize this is all in our best interest, and that simply wanting to be there seems a bit selfish...so I'm taking this time to learn as much as I can about the land, people, and culture of Haiti. I really am excited to learn what work is involved in the offices down in DC, and to get to see the other side of things. It is difficult having things be so up in the air, and living in this state of "limbo" but I have faith that it will all work out the way they are meant to, and learning to accept that is just part of the process.

In the meantime keep Haiti and her people in your daily thoughts and prayers. There can never be too many prayers. Pray for stability, peace, calming, health, reconciliation, happiness, relief...the list is endless. My hope and prayer is that something beneficial comes out of these elections...that someone who truly cares for the country and the people is put into "power" and that for once this beautiful and deserving country recieves the chance that they deserve.

Despite the lack of coverage found on television news, there are many articles written and posted online--I encourage you to keep up with them in efforts to understand the situation. Some of the websites to follow are:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/
http://www.miamiherald.com/
http://www.bbc.com/
http://www.cnn.com/

here's an article on the latest cholera update, please take the time to read it

http://www.msf.org/msf/articles/2010/12/cholera-emergency-in-haiti-far-from-over.cfm


Nawe pita!

-Sarah